Thursday 29 November 2012

OK, so I'm a big baby!

Today was rectal ultrasound day, at last. I really am hopeless at all of it, from the 'orrible cold enema ( should have warmed it up a bit!) to the test itself. In the end the doctor had to give me Dormicum, and believe me, I was glad to slide off for a nap. It was only a bit though, I didn't need escorting home like last time, and didn't start singing sea shanties at the top of my lungs like some incidences in the past...
So, as far as they can tell before actually slicing it out, I'm T3N1. This is not wonderful, but not as bad as it could be. I've spent a while looking at survival rates, and the odds are reasonable, and getting better all the time. Neo-adjuvent therapy, which means treating with radiation and chemo before surgery, has increased survival rates at this stage quite dramatically according to some studies. Add to that my age- under 70 year old patients have better survival, and the fact that I have no underlying illnesses, and things start to look positively rosy. ( I bet I won't feel rosy for a while though!)
So now I have to wait for Wednesday, and my appointment with Professor Shpitz, the head of Surgery B Ward in Meir Hospital. He will decide what we do, and I hope very much that I will be starting treatment by the end of next week.
Meanwhile, I'll leave you with this thought; When you wake up in the morning, what are the chances you will still be alive at the end of the day? Since it is impossibly complicated to calculate every risk factor through the whole day, practically all you can say is that either you will or won't be. Ergo, 50-50. That means we all have a 50% chance of survival all the time. Ta daaaa! I'm actually beating the odds.

Wednesday 28 November 2012

New Keyboard!

Today I got the new keyboard that my parents sent from England; they bought it on ebay and it cost, with postage, 1/5 of the cost here! I'm writing on it now,it's so good to have my own laptop working again. I also got a lovely gift of face cream from Yasmin, my eldest daughter. Wow, smoooooth!
This morning I went to get all my paperwork from the gastroenterologist, ready for tomorrow. I think she was expecting me to be more depressed or upset or something. I guess sometimes people do get that way. I just don't feel that bad, I can't be bothered to get upset. It's just something to get through, and one way or the other I will, anyway. There isn't any choice, it's not as though if I get upset and complain about it anything will change, so what's the point?
 I'm really glad I'm an atheist, it saves me going through all that stuff about ' Why me? ' and ' What is God trying to tell me?' or whatever. It's just statistics, folks, that's all. Also I'm quite enjoying embarrassing people by using the C word out loud, and talking about stomas.

Tuesday 27 November 2012

Hooray, yet another enema.

On Thursday morning I go for a rectal ultrasound, whoopee! Sounds like fun, and the best part is having to have an enema at 5.30 in the morning, brave the rush hour traffic all the way to Kfar Saba and then have an interesting encounter with a large 'sensor'. With any luck the tumour will see a big stick coming at it and run for its life.
 But seriously, I really can't complain about the care Kupat Holim is taking of me, so far at least. I have a gastroenterologist who treats me as an intelligent person, I have been sent promptly for all the tests and can view my medical file any time I want on line. I have been given a recommendation for a surgeon, and will probably be having surgery pretty soon now. That's a bit scary ( or a lot, actually), and the hardest thing is that it is so sudden. A month ago I was healthy, as far as I knew, and not just heathy, fit, strong and feeling good. Now I'm waiting to be dissected.
 At least I'll be asleep, so it's not like having a root canal or something, you don't have to actually be there if you see what I mean. You just wake up and go " Oh my gaaaawd, what have they DONE to me!!!" I expect you can have icecream though....or maybe not, oh dear I'm starting to worry now...

Monday 26 November 2012

My Fiftieth Birthday Present

On the day of my fiftieth birthday I went for a colonoscopy. This may seem strange, but when you get an appointment you go (or wait another month, ha ha.) I had had some bleeding, and didn't think it was piles. As I groggily tried to remember where I was after being totally knocked out with Dormicum, the doctor pulled my partner into the recovery room and told us I was right. This afternoon, after Hillel Yafe hospital faffed around with the biopsy for 12 days, I was finally diagnosed  with Rectal Cancer. I still don't really know what stage it is, although it seems to be in one of the sub divisions of stage 3. The CT scan shows one lymph gland enlarged and a 3.2cm tumour in the mid rectum. I'm starting this blog so that I can keep family and friends updated easily, and to keep a record of this process, which I guess isn't going to be a short affair.