Yes, it's those icky days again. This time seems a bit less nasty than last time, no leg cramps, less flashes of headache and chills and meanwhile I still have an appetite although I know from the last times that the nausea will probably start tomorrow. One of the worst side effects is because of the steroids I get; my mood swings between anger, depression and jitteryness, and I can only sleep on the night after treatment with half a Lorivan ( like Valium). Still, I am getting used to this cycle of treatment and it makes it less awful knowing that in a few days the worst will be behind me and I will start feeling good again. Also this time the nurse got a vein first try, this makes such a difference! I wonder whether the strength of the chemo is really always identical, the side effects are so different each time.
I have to say that yoga really helps me at this time in my life; I get to the lesson feeling tired, a bit depressed and unhealthy and leave feeling relaxed, happy and energized, although a little tired sometimes too, it is very intensive vinyasa yoga. I am so lucky to have found the perfect class and teacher for me- for anyone in Pardes Hanna who is reading this, it is Hilah's class at Hakika sport centre.
Meanwhile the goat kids are growing at a tremendous rate and skip and race round the little meadow behind the house while Iza, their mother looks on nervously; she would run round after them if I didn't tie her on a long rope. Having kids running round is one thing, but Iza is a bit too big for comfort! We started milking her seriously yesterday, we separate the kids at night so they can't suckle and milk her in the morning. We got more than two litres of creamy, rich milk and made wonderful yoghurt from it.
Everything else here is fine, the weather is getting hot and I hope soon to get to the beach. Now that will be an experience to write about, swimming with a stoma! I'll wait until the side effects of the IV wear off though, so probably not this week.
Thursday 30 May 2013
Sunday 26 May 2013
Granny?
This is why I haven't posted recently; Iza has had two beautiful kids, and they are keeping us on the run! They are growing up fast, and she is a great mother, plus we now have goat's milk yoghurt for breakfast every day!
Friday 10 May 2013
Happy Blechday...
Happy blechday to me, happy blechday to me...
I'm not saying anything else about side effects this time, suffice to say that I will be happy to hit Monday, by which time I hope I will be feeling better. It's just blech, that's all I have to say. Oh well, two down, six to go. This time they only stuck me twice, oh happiness.
Why is cancer such an awkward disease? People generally have no idea how to talk to someone with cancer, and often come out with statements that don't help, or in the worst cases even cause me to get pretty annoyed. Examples;
" You will definitely beat it, no doubt at all!" No, I have about 60% chance of 'beating it', but does it make you uncomfortable to think about that? Well, sorry.
" It's a question of will power, you can beat any illness if you want to enough!" Oh, so this is my fault for not wanting to get better enough, huh?
"Should you be eating that? It's pretty unhealthy, shouldn't you be eating more salad?" Well, let's see, I've lost five kilos since March, do you think salad is going to work for me? Really?
And I'm not even going to deign to talk about the ' faith and belief' crowd, most of whom have realized that getting too close to me is not going to be good for their own health.
Good, I feel a lot better now, don't know if it is the nausea pill or the satisfying rant.
It isn't all black, really, don't take me too seriously. On the positive side, I seem finally really to be getting the hang of getting a good seal on my ileostomy wafer, and it's itching much less, the skin is getting better and it has stuck for three days and counting, a record so far. The weather is pretty good too, and my hands are suffering less from cold sensitivity this round. Iza still hasn't given birth, but she is so heavy, she didn't want to get out of her nice soft straw bed this morning. I know how she feels, actually.
I'm not saying anything else about side effects this time, suffice to say that I will be happy to hit Monday, by which time I hope I will be feeling better. It's just blech, that's all I have to say. Oh well, two down, six to go. This time they only stuck me twice, oh happiness.
Why is cancer such an awkward disease? People generally have no idea how to talk to someone with cancer, and often come out with statements that don't help, or in the worst cases even cause me to get pretty annoyed. Examples;
" You will definitely beat it, no doubt at all!" No, I have about 60% chance of 'beating it', but does it make you uncomfortable to think about that? Well, sorry.
" It's a question of will power, you can beat any illness if you want to enough!" Oh, so this is my fault for not wanting to get better enough, huh?
"Should you be eating that? It's pretty unhealthy, shouldn't you be eating more salad?" Well, let's see, I've lost five kilos since March, do you think salad is going to work for me? Really?
And I'm not even going to deign to talk about the ' faith and belief' crowd, most of whom have realized that getting too close to me is not going to be good for their own health.
Good, I feel a lot better now, don't know if it is the nausea pill or the satisfying rant.
It isn't all black, really, don't take me too seriously. On the positive side, I seem finally really to be getting the hang of getting a good seal on my ileostomy wafer, and it's itching much less, the skin is getting better and it has stuck for three days and counting, a record so far. The weather is pretty good too, and my hands are suffering less from cold sensitivity this round. Iza still hasn't given birth, but she is so heavy, she didn't want to get out of her nice soft straw bed this morning. I know how she feels, actually.
Monday 6 May 2013
Just goating around...
Since I don't have much cancer related news ( and no news is good news!) I thought I would show you a bit of what else is going on- the most important thing everyone is waiting for is the birth of Iza's kids. Iza is one of our two goats, here is a picture of both of them;
Iza just means 'goat', and her daughter is called Pziza, which means ' reckless', which is a pretty good description of her behavior. Here you can't see that Iza is pregnant, but here is one of her doing her prenatal exercises- note the satisfied look on her face as she manages a full stomach roll;
Really, she is HUGE, she has to give birth soon or she will burst. Pziza was supposed to be pregnant too, but she doesn't look any bigger than she was. Sold a dud goat, I guess. And here is one of yours truly on a goatherding expedition;
Actually this was taken before we got the goats, but I like it, and this is my blog so I'm posting it, so there.
Iza just means 'goat', and her daughter is called Pziza, which means ' reckless', which is a pretty good description of her behavior. Here you can't see that Iza is pregnant, but here is one of her doing her prenatal exercises- note the satisfied look on her face as she manages a full stomach roll;
Really, she is HUGE, she has to give birth soon or she will burst. Pziza was supposed to be pregnant too, but she doesn't look any bigger than she was. Sold a dud goat, I guess. And here is one of yours truly on a goatherding expedition;
Thursday 2 May 2013
At my nadir..
Bet you don't know what a nadir is, huh? Nor did I, until now. The nadir in chemotherapy is when the lowest level of blood counts occurs in the cycle, and it depends on which drugs are used and on the concentration. On my treatment, today is the nadir for red blood cells, meaning I am temporarily anemic, and god do I feel anemic! I hardly managed to drag myself to yoga this morning, then sweated and puffed through the lesson; I didn't know what was wrong until I came home and did some research, which is why I now know the word nadir. The good news is that in another day or two my body will be swinging upwards again- I am into the week without pills, which is nice.
Otherwise all is fine, the hand tingling has completely gone and I don't have any nausea or anything .I have lost a kilo and a half, so I can eat whatever I want whenever I want, a novel experience for me. Looking at the list of common side effects of chemo made me realize that I actually have an advantage; quite a lot of the symptoms sound just like menopause, of which delightful experience I have already been partaking for at least the last two years. Insomnia, flushing, irritation, loss of libido, headaches and so on hold no special terror for me, in fact it can only get better since radiotherapy and chemo kill off the last remnants of ovaries. Actually I DO feel less menopausey! See, it's an ill wind that blows nobody any good! Now if I could just find a chemo drug that dyes your hair a kind of dark copper.....
Otherwise all is fine, the hand tingling has completely gone and I don't have any nausea or anything .I have lost a kilo and a half, so I can eat whatever I want whenever I want, a novel experience for me. Looking at the list of common side effects of chemo made me realize that I actually have an advantage; quite a lot of the symptoms sound just like menopause, of which delightful experience I have already been partaking for at least the last two years. Insomnia, flushing, irritation, loss of libido, headaches and so on hold no special terror for me, in fact it can only get better since radiotherapy and chemo kill off the last remnants of ovaries. Actually I DO feel less menopausey! See, it's an ill wind that blows nobody any good! Now if I could just find a chemo drug that dyes your hair a kind of dark copper.....
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